


In the Shadow of Light

by Couldthisbelove94



Category: Dissidia: Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe, Dark, Depression, Disguise, F/F, F/M, Forgiveness, M/M, Post-Canon, Torture, Vanitas Isn't As Evil As He Thinks, Vanitas Redemption (Kingdom Hearts), post kh3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-20 08:54:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30002388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Couldthisbelove94/pseuds/Couldthisbelove94
Summary: After the events of KH3, Vanitas returns to the present and lays low in Monstropolis, interning for a Human Sexuality professor at Monsters University while dreaming of discovering the legendary door to a battleground for the most fearsome villains in the galaxy. It's all a fool's dream until the CEO of Monsters, Inc, helps construct the door for him for his birthday. Suddenly, Vanitas finds himself in a tight spot: should he lead a normal life as a nonhuman in Monstropolis, Unversed and all? Or should he go through the door and pick up the mantle of super villain once more?Meanwhile, Aqua, now a key blade mentor to Kairi in Radiant Garden, receives horrible portents. Vanitas will open a door to a realm of fantasy, but it won't be the one Riku leapt through to save Sora. This one will unleash the greatest evil imaginable, and Vanitas won't be strong enough to stop it. It's up to the Warriors of Light to find him and stop him for good, but where, or in what form, he could be hiding, is anyone's guess...
Relationships: Aqua & Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Sora & Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I once read a story on another fanfic platform about "what would happen if the good guys lost" in KHI. Basically, Ansem built a fortress in the middle of Destiny Islands and trapped, tortured, and amassed Sora, and Riku into everlasting darkness, while the Radiant Garden Restoration Committee rescued Kairi but lost Cloud to Sephiroth (who had set up shop in Ansem's dungeon). The story ended on the idea that the entire universe was almost definitely eventually done for. The story's crassness and cracky plot stuck with me. 
> 
> It also got me wondering about the nature of sex, pain, and death in the Realm of Light, a realm made by children and marred by adults' lust for power, where people poof into sparkles upon death, true love is fairy-tale platonic, Santa exists, all the villains are goofs or mad scientists, and grown men hang out with sixteen year olds while no one bats an eye (looking at you, Isa and Lea). How would villains in a universe like that fair against a frat house for monsters like Exdeath, Ardyn, Zenos, Seph, etc? 
> 
> Please enjoy my attempt at figuring it out!

His final memory was amorphous: slopes of endless white bordering cerulean like crayon against blank paper, the flurries of microscopic blossoms acting more as breaks in the wax than additions to the sky. Absence over abundance and subtraction rather than addition. Plenitudes of curves jutting up through slate mist adumbrating knobby hills. The fluffy blankets softening their pleats and bends had been accreted over thousands of years, stitch by stitch until what was left underneath was no more than a memory. Transfigured raindrops tumbling one over the other forever. Pellucid, immutable. A panoply of flowers impossible to choose from.

The wind’s largess was as endless as the sky. Peripatetic zephyrs gathered what thanks they could from the blank fields and drove their spoils down in spirals through the mist below. Or perhaps it was the other way around: a cycle those at the crest of the hills could only catch a glimpse of, if they were lucky enough to make it this close to the zenith of life.

Inchoate yet multifarious, endless in space and number, this was Vanitas’ first impression of “light.” He had known it before in crude imitations and platitudes, but standing here had been the first time he felt afraid of it. In this place, where the sun cast rainbows through the iridescent dunes and lifted so bright that eyes uncovered by dark glass would have been blinded on the instant, the light’s awesome power was undeniable. How many had fallen to the smooth, powdery tresses? How far down did the light go, or like the abyss, did everything eventually fall to darkness? On these hills, that last question seemed impossible to answer in the affirmative. 

To decipher when or why he had taken off his mask might have stopped him from remembering what happened after, like waking up from a dream and following bread crumbs from spark to spark, forgetting crucial bits in pursuit of the greater whole. All he knew was that he did, at some point, and the sting that followed made him scrunch shut his eyes and feel his whole head as well as the features inside. His ears pounded, his corneas scorched, his brain beat as if it were a second heart. It made him wonder if the body he walked in had a real heart, too, not just his own metaphysical essence, that crucial third in the trinity of soul and will that bound together in the service of memories like this, but one made up of blood, sinew, and muscle. He trudged up the crest the only way he knew how: one foot in front of the other, marveling at the sameness and the way each mountain became a different species in the endless identical. Then, a spot variegated from the crest. When Vanitas caught sight of it, he balked and stilled.

Each stared at the other, analyzing, one shivering from the thrill of light while the featureless, blackened other appeared more and more like a statue.

 _Hey buddy!_ Echoed the one above, but it wasn’t right, it wasn’t the correct timing. This might not have been the correct world, because in Vanitas’ delirium he could not remember where they had met, just that it had been amongst fields like this, this endless blanket of white laid over sharp peaks with flurries of snowflakes blessing every surface. Now, Vanitas could barely remember who had been whom.

He, blackened, sunk in the snow as the creature above took shape.

 _You’re okay,_ it assured, visage shrouded by sunlight bright as bleached bone. _You’re good._

_I’m not good, I’m trapped._

_Trapped? With a view like this? This is freedom._

At the time, Vanitas had scoffed and shoved his savior away, not having a clue how important those words would be in the future. How those would be the last spoken words he remembered before he sank into the abyss completely. Here, more than anywhere else he had visited, was nothing and everything. It was ruthless, fair, and thus safe. Reality was expected, it happened uncalculated. Things crashed together, disintegrated, and more was piled atop them until they drifted into new creations, apart but part.

_You’ll meet your people._

There were no fields. There was no snow, or blinding light, and it was hot. He fumbled in the black, feeling his fingers against the sand, fingers against wet sand, fingers against parted skin, fingers inside, and pain. An orb of light lifted towards him in the distance then flickered out. It lit again. Vanitas’ pin like pupils darted towards the sigh of the little fire, watching the flickering as memories filtered through the back of his head. No more could be coaxed.

Maybe this lied below the snowy hills, too. This deep dwelling desert, terrible heat, and moving chasms once streaming with water. Caverns perched over sheets thick with sand, canopies shaken by thunderous tornadoes. Not a soul knew of this chamber’s existence bar him, nor of the water worn hallways nature had carved into it. Moisture was long gone, as was almost everything else but stone crushed so fine it disappeared against the skin, skin made by man, with a manmade heart beating faintly beneath.

People had always compared light to a match in the darkness, as if it were a bauble of reassuring warmth inside a great black chill, but they were wrong. Darkness was heat. Uncomfortable, sticky heat that clung bodies together and made them restless. Light was supposed to be warm, and the deepest darkness chill as the most fathomless reaches of space, yet practical darkness hung around human bodies in floods of black steam while light pierced its surroundings in rays as sharp as diamond and quick as a shock of cold water.

There had been a time, however short, when a glimmer of something actual had existed. Maybe it wasn’t full ownership. Maybe it wasn’t ownership at all. It was a taste. Simple. Filled with moments of warmth, understanding, and expansiveness. Full blue skies. Rainy nights spent snuggled in one’s own bed, reading love poems. And the most human part of all, was that Vanitas hadn’t been aware of how glorious his life had been until it was too late. Where were those ancient declarations now? Those simple, pointless things the head had groaned to look upon but the hands devoured in secret. Forgotten: all one morphing darkness and its shadowed victims.

Ahead, the light flickered on again, rounding a corner and becoming two. A pair of sickly, flickering yellows like swollen boils around charred skin.

The chill that followed was welcome, a reprieve from the fevered blaze crawling under his skin. As his hand sunk to the sand, body too exhausted to move, his eyelashes fluttered closed, followed by tears. Another wind picked up through the caverns, groaning as it passed. This time, it was freezing. Vanitas shivered, too exhausted to clutch his arms to his split chest.

_I wish you all the best, Vani. I love you._

When Vanitas opened his eyes, he allowed himself to whimper. What was the point in hiding now, in being strong? Everything was over. He’d made his mistakes and now he had to extinguish with them.

The Lich Heartless loomed overhead with scythe in claw, its dark tendrils grazing the body’s deepest wounds in excitement, listening for the veins’ coagulation, the lungs’ shallowed breath, and a quiet heart. Then it would scavenge inside for whatever was left. Each time its pustule yellow irises beamed up, searching for milkiness in its victim’s eyes, it seemed more and more human. The glowing citrine orbs gained darting pupils, then a soft silvery sheen, then white corneas, and then its shape changed. Its face remained amorphous and black, but the eyes were his: starlit silver and filled with hate. 


	2. Love Poems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into Vanitas' quaint life in Monstropolis and why he wants more.

“Kingdom Hearts,” Vanitas groaned in revulsion, rubbing his eyes and stretching out. Sighing, he leaned over the godforsaken piece of “literature” on his lap and continued making edits in tiny, blood red excuses for letters. Raucous laughter burst from the lecture hall to his right, the archaic door reading A113 jittering with the vibrations. His bench creaked as the behemothic being beside him cleared its throat. When the creature fidgeted, its large arm almost knocked the manuscript from Vanitas’ hands.

“Sorry, bud,” the monster coughed, no doubt sensing Vanitas’ mounting irritation.

Instead of responding Vanitas returned to the tiny book, only meeting his companion’s eye when he felt the monster’s apologetic stare over his shoulder.

“How’s the decipherment going?” asked the being.

“It’s going,” Vanitas intoned. “I have a pretty clear idea of what world it comes from. It’s just the story that makes me want to take a Firaga to the head.”

“Whoa, there, Bessie!” the being mused, nearly sending Vanitas’ leg through the floorboards when it gave him a spirited clap on the thigh. “Don’t want to let out any of those plucky little fellas of yours before our grand finale!”

Before Vanitas could lose it, the door beside opened and a monster with yellowing fur, black glasses, and bushy salt and pepper brows called their names.

 _Darkness, give me strength,_ Vanitas thought, careful not to become too despondent.

The yellow furball with salt and pepper brows exchanged a few words with Vanitas’ monstrous companion before lumbering back through the classroom door. Once it shut, Vanitas’ companion asked how he was feeling.

“Shitty,” Vanitas responded.

“Remember: specificity, my friend!”

“I feel the strangest sensation of reservation mixed with hesitation,” Vanitas retorted in cooing sarcasm. “Almost as if I’m about to destroy the little pride I have left.”

“Sounds like a Mandrake!” the monster laughed. Then, its smile faded. “You know you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. It’s your choice.”

For the first time since that morning, Vanitas met his companion’s eyes; two goggly blue bobbles wracked with concern inside a bunch of white fur.

_Like heartless it’s my choice._

This pack of sentient sheepskin was the last refuge Vanitas had left. If he’d had a choice, he would have escaped long ago.

“Let’s just get this over with,” he sighed, heaving up and pressing inside.

The hall, built for the 1880s with smooth mahogany and cracking green leather seating but badly renovated in the 60s, was filled to the brim with monsters of every shape and size: some with clipboards, some with notebooks, others with voice recorders, and still others with laptops and phones, the lights from their cameras blinking in wait. A podium and platform crowned the chamber. Vanitas was directed to the chair farthest right and his monster companion to the seat beside as the creature with yellowing fur who had first invited them in thudded past a group of scholarly looking monsters to the podium.

“Welcome one and all to January’s After Scare Special,” he announced. “For this month’s seminar we’ve brought a treat: Mr. Yeti, research graduate, artifact and literature collector, and advocate for Human Studies at Monsters U. Let’s give him and his special guest a big round of applause.”

When the yellowing monster cocked his head towards them, Yeti met Vanitas’ eye and winked.

Nodding, Vanitas turned from the awed audience and slipped his shirt over his head. Then, unceremoniously, he tore down his pants and drawers, eliciting a round of fascinated gasps. Following this, Vanitas stepped onto the podium buck naked, settled his hands on his hips, and gazed his amber eyes forward dully as Yeti sailed to his side and pointed to him with a director’s staff.

“Hello, monsters one and all!” Yeti announced in the biggest boom he could manage. “It is my supreme honor to come before you on the anniversary of the transformation of our most basic, beloved industry: Scaring!”

More applause rose up. Vanitas scratched his backside, rolling his eyes when he noticed several students scribbling down furious, ecstatic notes. Did Primate Studies majors on human worlds react like this every time they caught a monkey scratching its ass in a zoo?

“Human Studies as a field of research has come under fire over the last few years for limiting itself to certain themes. Before, you took subjects like “The History of Fear” or “Human Anatomy,” which was really code for how to recognize a human when they’re frightened.”

More scattered chuckles.

“Now, those classes have been replaced with Mememology, Clowning, and Seinfeld: Dissecting the Comic Icon, while Human Anatomy has moved from qualifying fear to studying the human laugh. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. I’m all for change. But if we’re to understand our world’s primary energy source, we need to understand it in its entirety. That’s why today, I’d like to make a case for the study of human sexuality. Now, uh, if we’ll all give an encouraging round of applause to my assistant, editor, and artifacts collector Vanitas-”

Vanitas gave a weak wave as everyone applauded for him, before Yeti addressed the crowd again.

“Now, let’s be clear. Despite accusations by the newly fledged Monster Protection Agency on Vanitas’ biological status, no humans are harmed in any of our seminars. Vanitas is a fully consenting, sentient monster like the rest of us, separated only by his fascinating, humanoid genetic makeup. Now, to start us off and get all of you sleepers in the back interested, we’re going to replicate an incredibly rare sight afforded to only the luckiest of monsters: a fully engorged human penis!”

☠

Yeti and Vanitas occupied their customary booth at the rear of Harryhausen’s, the hottest sushi restaurant in Monstropolis. While Yeti droned over his shoulder to the waitress about his dream project (“Now picture this: a museum filled with erotic human artifacts!”) Vanitas continued pouring over Yeti’s latest acquisition, the ancient love poem collection he had a sneaking suspicion came from Destiny Islands due to its repeated motif of a ‘blossom made for sharing’, which Vanitas was pretty sure referred to paopu.

“Such a studious young brute,” Vanitas thought he heard the waitress gush.

Vanitas scoffed loudly. It was custom for him to complain about his literary entrapment to whoever would listen, and this time was no different.

“We just finished our third seminar this year and it’s only the end of January!” Yeti explained over Vanitas’ self-piteous mutterings. “We’re packing houses all over the country!”

“He’s not… a _real_ human, is he?” the waitress intimated.

Vanitas gave her a blank stare. Then, widening his amber eyes and grinning malevolently, he cooed, “Nah, I’m just a human heart cut in half and given shape.”

“H-half a- a human?” the waitress stumbled in horror.

Yeti and Vanitas shared a glance. Then they split into laughter.

The waitress chuckled in confusion as Yeti patted Vanitas’ back.

“Always the jokester,” he said, shaking his head. “Nah, this fella is a monster who was experimented on at birth to look like a human.”

Technically true.

“His hair is actually made of razor fine teeth. His eyes were shrunk, his canines were filed…”

Deliciously false.

“Oh, that’s just awful,” their monster waitress lamented, dabbing her watering eye. “Is there any possibility of reconstructive surgery?”

“I don’t view my form as a disability, ma’am,” Vanitas shrugged grandly. “But as a _different_ ability.”

The monstress gasped in reverence, clapping and extoling that Vanitas was a true inspiration to disabled monsters everywhere.

“Besides,” Vanitas responded, head deep in his book, “I get paid to point my dick in broad daylight, so what’s not to love?”

The monster waitress touched her heart and gave Yeti a spirited nod. “At least he hasn’t lost his intellect and beautiful sense of humor!”

“Vanitas, what would you like to order?” Yeti asked, squeezing Vanitas’ arm a little hard for his liking.

Vanitas stroked his chin as he peered down the menu. “Flab Cake to start and Carrion Katsu to finish,” he chirped, deciding to try something new.

“How rancid do you want your Katsu?” the waitress asked. “Medium, rare, or not at all?”

“Not at all, please,” Vanitas muttered.

“Whoa, living life on the wild side!” the waitress sang. “One _fresh_ Katsu coming right up!”

“I’ll have the yukitori, extra rancid, start off with some Goo Tofu, and end with some Blueberry Slobbler,” said Yeti.

“Can I get some Green Tea Ice Cream for dessert?” Vanitas asked. “Unsour milk?”

“Any Sake?” retorted the waitress.

“Flaming,” Vanitas and Yeti expressed at the same time. The waitress took their menus and left them alone. When she was completely gone, Yeti turned to Vanitas and shook his head.

“What?” Vanitas challenged.

“I respect your unique sense of humor, kid, but the joke about you being half human needs to stop. The more established you become in the community, the more trouble we’re going to get in if they find out the truth.”

“I’m not half human, I’m half _of_ a human,” Vanitas corrected in a murmur. “Being half-something implies you’re half-something-else.”

“I know, technicalities,” Yeti sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I just don’t want to lose you to the MPA! They’ll throw you through one of those Monsters, Inc. doors without looking twice! Or worse, they’ll take you into custody and perform tests on you to see if you’re a Monster Rights Violation. I could be done in for fraud! Then all our work on erotic education will be out the window!”

“I know that,” Vanitas hissed, slamming the book down and curling his hands into fists.

Kingdom Hearts, Yeti could be so overbearing. It wasn’t like Vanitas wanted to be here, wasn’t like he cared whether Yeti’s work in ‘erotic education’ would blossom or fade. Why was it that the overgrown cotton ball had to repeatedly remind him that he was just a pawn in some sick game of…

Before he could stop it, a void opened in his back, bubbling with black smoke that hissed into the shape of a creature with sharp red eyes that resembled a spinning golden top with electric crab claws. As the creature landed with a tinny thud against Harryhausen’s waxed concrete floor, the other restaurant patrons clapped in amusement, giggling as it zipped towards their tables. Vanitas watched in resignation as it roamed about.

“Irritated, eh?” Yeti chortled, thumping his palm against his leg in amusement. “Those little fellas know how you’re feeling before you do!”

“I’ve been trying to get better at identifying them before they come out,” Vanitas muttered as what he liked to call “Monotrucker” drilled a hole into the sushi chef’s work table. “Can’t always get it right, though.”

“You’re a smart kid. You’ll figure it out,” Yeti reassured, leaning back so their waitress could set down the starters.

Vanitas stared at his plate in longing as the two resumed chatting.

It was nice, in a way, not only being foreign and anonymous but celebrated for his alien qualities… but he was capable of so much more than prancing around naked and reading love poems all day… there was so much destruction and evil inside him bursting at the seams, yearning to be set free…

In fact, Vanitas was taken over by a fiery sensation that crawled up his throat and forced him to burp. When an emerald green flame shot out of his mouth, the entire restaurant raised their sake glasses and shouted, “omedetō!” To which Vanitas called, “Arigato!” Then everyone laughed. Turned out that that particular fiery sensation had just been the Flaming Sake. Whatever. It beat summoning a boss Unversed any day.

As they dug into their appetizers, Harryhausen’s front door burst open and two Monsters U students waltzed inside. When they spotted Vanitas, they gasped and sloshed over.

“You’re that humanoid!” they accused with glee. “Can we take a picture?”

Vanitas said nothing, resuming his Flab Cake. As he ate, the students laughed.

“How’s it skulking, Mr. Yeti?” one inquired, lifting his tentacle for a high-one. Yeti caught it and gave him a stub bump, shrugging that he was doing alright. “I’m glad you both caught the seminar! How’d you like it?”

“We loved it!” the first student gasped. “Especially when he did that dong thing!”

“The hip thrust or the Kegel?” Yeti asked. “And ‘dong’ is vernacular, the academic term is penis.”

“Kegel!” said the second student. “When it just moved up and down like it was waving!”

“Well, you fellas know the difference between the two demonstrations, right?” asked Yeti as Vanitas sunk in his seat with the poetry book ever closer to his face. When the monster students drew a blank, Yeti leaned forward and explained, “It’s to show the nature of human muscle independent of bone and tendon! The muscle can flex and become engorged with blood, but its function and powers are vastly limited…”

 _Kingdom Hearts,_ Ventus groaned in his head. If a Shoegrazer didn’t summon in the next five seconds, he’d be utterly shocked.

Dark energy vomited from his back again, transforming into a perpetually embarrassed, boot like creature that roamed around hiding its head when anyone dared look upon it.

“Whoa, did the humanoid just give birth, Mr. Yeti?” gasped the first student, trying with little success to touch the shoegrazer’s evasive head.

“No, those aren’t spawn,” Mr. Yeti corrected. “They’re more outgrowth or mass mitosis. It’s complicated.” 

“Is it slime?” the second student impugned.

“In a manner of speaking.” Mr. Yeti adumbrated. “It’s a waste product.”

“But slime is for mobility and lubrication, sir!” the first student balked. “Is this guy just pooping in public?”

Vanitas snorted without helping it.

Monsters really were hilarious, ten times more hilarious than humans. It was part of what made their company so joyous. When the main courses came out, Vanitas dug in with a grin.

“It’s not poop, kids!” Mr. Yeti scowled over his head. “Just give the poor fella some space! Imagine if you all had to stand naked in front of a bunch of fellow monsters for hours at a time, being poked and prodded! Wouldn’t you appreciate a break, too?”

“Oh…” breathed the students in shame, turning to Vanitas and mumbling apologies.

“Your penis is a medical miracle!” added one of them in warm encouragement.

“Yeah, do you think you could do that Kegel thing one more time?” said the other, slipping his phone from his pocket. “I’m doing a presentation on human sexuality and I didn’t get to record on time.”

Before Yeti could tell them to scram, Vanitas asked what the student’s email was. 

Grinning in surprise, the student scribbled it down on a piece of paper and put it on Vanitas’ empty plate, to which Vanitas responded that he would send out a video as soon as possible.

“Gee, thanks, man!” the student revered, watching in awe as Vanitas folded the email and put it in his jacket pocket. On sudden inspiration the student turned to Yeti and asked, “say, professor, do you think he’ll ever do an ejaculation demonstration?”

Yeti and Vanitas’ smiles faded in unison as their eyes met. Drawing away, Vanitas continued his food with head cast down as Yeti said carefully, “we’ll have to see about that.”

When Vanitas glared at Yeti, the furball refused to meet his eye. 

Soon enough the students trotted to the sushi bar and sat down. Vanitas glanced after them in wonder for a moment. Then, shaking his head, he snuggled further into the booth and scribbled in Yeti’s ancient poetry collection twice as ferociously as before. “It’s weird,” he muttered as he wrote. “On any other world I’d be carted off for public indecency for the things I do here.”

Now Yeti decided to stare at him unabashed. Vanitas could feel the monster’s piercing, doleful gaze without having to meet it. “You don’t have to worry about that thing they said last,” the monster blurted out, whipping his gaze to his food when Vanitas looked up.

“I wasn’t planning to,” Vanitas intoned.

“Good. Just checking.”

“You wouldn’t have had to check if you’d remembered the conversation that we had a couple weeks ago.”

“It’s okay that you can’t do it, Van. Some literature tells me not all humans can.”

“Especially manmade humans, right? Or, half human hearts in vaguely anthropomorphic vessels?”

“Vanitas. Remember what I just said about your beautiful sense of humor?” 

“This isn’t me being funny. This is serious. You’re the one who brought up ‘checking.’”

“My mistake. I just didn’t want this party of Unversed to get any bigger.”

“It won’t if you stop triggering me.”

“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” Yeti concluded in hope.

Vanitas responded by finishing his main course, to which Yeti soon copied. 

“Want to watch a nature program tonight?” asked the monster out of nowhere. 

“Is it a porn video?” Vanitas groaned.

“It’s about a human phenomenon called frotting I’ve always been curious about,” explained Yeti in excitement. “I’ve been working up a narration to show in one of my classes. Once I figure out how to download everything to the web, I could make a docuseries!”

“Kingdom Hearts,” Vanitas muttered under his breath.

There had to be more to life than watching gay porn with a creature who treated it like a Planet Earth special.

“You know what the most fascinating thing about human sexuality is?” quipped Yeti as he pushed his empty plates to the table edge. “When you see the videos, it’s unremarkable. Their anatomy is just too different! But when you read their literature… the feelings are all the same! That mirroring emotion is what drew humans and monsters together in the first place! Under all the muscles and slime and skin, we’re all the same!” His brows perked up as he spotted the desserts coming out of the kitchen. “Say, your birthday’s coming up. What do you want for your present?”

“Haven’t thought about it.”

“World domination off the table?”

“For now.”

“Well, as a great human band whose name I forgot used to sing: Don’t give up till it’s over! Don’t quit, if you can! The weight on your shoulders will make you a stronger man! Did you know shoulder bones are a recessive trait in the monster kingdom?” 

“You know what’s funny?” Vanitas interjected, stabbing his ice cream as if it were capable of feeling pain. “Despite all these artifacts we’re finding across worlds, and all my experience traveling the galaxy, never once did my master or anyone I know admit to having sex. You’d think for it being such an important part of the human experience, that it’d be a more common topic of conversation.”

“Different worlds have evolved differently when it comes to sexuality. You and I both know that.”

“Whatever,” Vanitas dismissed. “Key blade masters are abstinent, anyway. Sex is just one more unnecessary distraction. Gets in the way of honing the craft.”

“But it can be such a beautiful distraction,” Yeti insisted, cupping his hands as if the secret to the universe lay within. “It can unlock untold powers, bind hearts together, make love stronger!”

“I was a warrior once,” Vanitas reproached, slicing his ice cream in half. “That’s what I was born and trained to do- _fight._ I fought in a universal _war_ as one of the Thirteen, for darkness’ sake! And look at me now!” His volume raised as he stared down his crumpled, too big Hanes T-shirt and baggy sweatpants, vestments he’d dragged from the contaminated artifacts room in Monsters, Inc. after the Child Detection Agency had turned into the Comedy Detection Agency. “Cowering on the most bizarre planet in the galaxy like a kicked puppy, naked except for these sweatpants and top taken from the most obese kid known to man! What human under the age of twenty could even fit into these damn things? When I stand up too fast, I trip on them!”

“We’ll get you some more fashionable outfits,” Yeti clamored.

“Fashionable?” Vanitas rebuffed. “Do you even know what ‘fashion’ is in the human world? Do you have any idea what a human being is supposed to look like? No matter how much you study, you’ll never understand us completely.”

“Them,” warned Yeti.

“Fine,” responded Vanitas through a huff. “Them.” Then he paused. “I’ve just been thinking, lately…”

The old Vanitas would have called him cowardly and sentimental for giving up his old, warmongering self. A large part of him despised the unique banality of this world and the day-in day-out torture of having to provide for oneself in a static environment, but the truth was, this life was easy. Yeti was one of the only creatures in the universe who had ever shown Vanitas kindness. Vanitas couldn’t forget that, especially now, when he was so weak, so incapable of even basic human reactions let alone wielding a key blade like he once did. As much as he’d gotten used to wandering the Sea Between, watching as the shadow of his past-self returned to the time from whence it came as his present form flitted from timeline to timeline without aim or reason, he preferred real life.

Not that landing himself in the Himalayas, befriending the abominable snowman, relocating to Monstropolis after Yeti’s banishment was revoked, or using the shredded doors at Monsters, Inc. to travel between worlds and collect human erotica was what any sane person would think of as “real life.” It was close enough for someone like him.

There was no doubt that he preferred the screams of innocents and the cries of half dead key blade wielders, but there were seven of them out there, which was six and a half more than him. He’d already lost once. He wasn’t stupid enough to think he could go up against them again. Not when they’d cut down his master with so much ease. Not when they had a proper, united front backing them every step of the way.

“I was thinking of joining a Villain’s Society,” Vanitas admitted, savoring the chill the confession rippled up his spine. He’d never divulged his true intentions this far with Yeti. To his relief, the monster didn’t seem as scandalized as Vanitas thought he would be.

In fact, the beast looked almost pleased that Vanitas was finally confiding in him. “What kind?” he goaded.

“There are all kinds,” Vanitas gushed. “I was looking them up on Hollow Bastion OS’s World-Wide Network link today.”

“Okay,” worded Yeti, stabbing at his slobbler with sudden intensity.

“Hell, yeah,” Vanitas grinned, wolfing down his ice cream in hearty gulps. “There’s Bad-Anon, Council of Disney Villains, Shinra, Talon, Blackwatch, Smash Bros… and others, but those would be my top choices. The vast majority are completely beneath me, but they might be good networking opportunities and stepping stones on my path to galactic destruction.”

“Well, just know this, kiddo,” Yeti offered. “I wish you the best in every endeavor you set your mind to. I know that with a will as strong as yours, you can be anything your heart desires.” Nodding, the monster stared at his slobbler with watery eyes. Then, out of nowhere, he burst into tears, collapsing into his pie and splashing blueberry goo in every direction.

Vanitas stared him down in shock for a good two minutes. Then, rolling his eyes, he used his napkin to clean up the table, hissing for Yeti to calm down.

When Yeti drew up and wiped his eyes, his face smeared purple. “D-don’t mind me. Y-you kids just grow up so fast!” he blustered, slamming into his slobbler again, his sobs making wet, farting sounds as they met with the destroyed pie again and again.

Vanitas waited an eternity for the monster to stop, handing him his napkin so he could wipe up his face. When the waitress hovered over asking what was wrong, Yeti waved her away with bitten lip and a trembling paw.

“How old are you now, bucko?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Physically!” Yeti impugned. “I mean physically! Biologically!”

“’Bout twenty,” Vanitas shrugged, pushing his empty ice cream bowl forward. “Just old enough to carve my own path. Not a masked boy anymore…”

“But a masked man,” Yeti finished for him, biting his lip yet again as tears rolled into his white fur. “Dammit, how do four years pass in the blink of an eye? Feels like just yesterday we were wandering through those snowcapped mountains, searching for a better life…”

“By the way, this erotic poetry is from Destiny Islands,” Vanitas disclosed, tapping the book on the table. “I’m going to finish researching the first part tomorrow so we can get some footnotes and send a first draft to the publisher. That’ll be my present to you before I leave.”

“But how are you planning to leave, Vanitas?” Yeti croaked.

Vanitas winced, deciding now was as good a time to decide on his birthday present as any.

“I might actually want to use some doors for my birthday,” he swallowed. “Some of these villain societies require face to face interviews.”

“Don’t you have to send in an application first?” asked Yeti.

Vanitas shrugged that he was working on it. “Just in case, you know?” he said. “I’m pretty certain I’ll get into all of them. I wield a fricking key blade, after all. It’s not just some pistol or dagger.”

White lies couldn’t hurt. After all, feckless positivity always worked for light wielders.

“How about I take you on a vacation?” Yeti suggested. “Any world you like, just say the name and it’s yours! Your memory will be our guiding key, and if you want to go somewhere you’ve never been, I’m sure there’s an old door knocking around the shredding room at Monster, Inc. that’ll lead us there.”

“How did you get the clearance to use the shredded doors, anyway?” asked Vanitas.

Yeti shrugged and chirped that Monsters U helped him. “I said I was using the doors for research and they believed me. Wasn’t like I was lying, you know.”

“Yeah,” Vanitas ruminated, biting his lip. He wondered out loud if it was possible to make a door from another’s memory.

“What do you mean, Vanitas?”

“Like… using pictures or documents to construct a door to a world you’ve never seen before.”

“It would have to be a perfect replica, Vanitas. There are bad stories of monsters getting lost in the Void after using faulty doors.”

“Huh,” Vanitas murmured, gnawing his tongue in curiosity.

What kind of creatures lurked in the Void, he wondered? Probably some worthy opponents. Could Yeti build a door to the Land of Darkness? Or even better, Kingdom Hearts?

Snapping out of his thoughts, he watched Yeti finish his slobbler and thanked the monster when he paid the bill. Then, wishing goodbye to the sushi chef and the students they’d met earlier, they lumbered into the chill winter air and began their walk home, Yeti singing a selection from the band he had quoted earlier as Vanitas reflected on his choice of birthday present. When the monster moved on to the title dance from the human classic _Singing in the Rain,_ Vanitas couldn’t help but laugh, letting out a strange, pot shaped Unversed along the way.

As the creature sprinkled fairy dust and chocolate truffles through the air, Yeti snatched a sweet and bit into it, grimacing in revulsion. When Vanitas taste tested one, too, all that assailed his tongue was sweet chocolaty goodness.

“Human food,” he chuckled, throwing the wrapper into a passing trashcan.

Most of the remaining walk was silent, until Yeti asked if Vanitas knew anything about his old buddies from the Keyblade War.

It was wild how little the other worlds knew about the intergalactic battle. Four years ago, it had decided the fate of the entire universe, but now it was little more than a footnote in the minds of all but the precious few connected to the Kingdom key blade bearer’s inner circle.

“They’ve strung together an ‘Order of Light’, their own personal Keyblade Empire dedicated to restoring world order and monitoring the Lanes Between and Corridors of Darkness,” Vanitas explained in revulsion. “Apparently, a license is required to own gummi ships and star shards, now.”

“And those are?”

“Intergalactic travel devices.”

“Well, heck. What do you think will happen when they catch wind of what our doors can do?”

“When they figure out that your doors lead to other worlds, I imagine they’ll monitor them, too. You’ll probably have to get a license to use them. Take some classes. Swear a vow of secrecy. The norm.”

“Well then we’ll have to do as much traveling as possible while we still have the chance.”

“There’s no rush,” Vanitas assured. “I can think of three guardians in the entire universe who actually do their job, and one’s dead, one’s got a kingdom to rule, and the other has spent the last four years dealing with massive PTSD. The rest are dumb as rocks or useless.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.”

Yeti’s sigh of relief brought a smile to Vanitas’ face. It was nice to have someone finally take him at his word, instead of retorting with varying renditions of “you’re lying,” however amusing those were in the guardians of lights’ high pitched nasal voices. The most undeniable fact about evil was this: it knew how to use its diaphragm to make a point.

“Do I need voice lessons before I go?” Vanitas worried aloud. “My tone still feels too ‘whiny boy villain.’ Maybe it’s time to grow up.”

“Grow up?” Yeti snorted, looking Vanitas up and down. “You’re twenty!”

“In physical feature, yeah.”

“Isn’t the voice a physical feature? If they gave you a sixteen-year-old voice four years ago, it stands to reason you’d have a twenty-year old’s voice now.”

Vanitas shrugged and hiked his poetry book further under his arm, bracing as a strong breeze carried sharp icy pricks against his skin. Was it about to snow?

“If you want to talk to someone with a scary voice, listen no further than James P. Sullivan. The stories he could tell…”

“He was one of the guys I fought, Yeti,” Vanitas intoned, jolting when Yeti shot him a look of surprise.

“You fought Sully?” he whispered in confusion. “Why? He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body!”

“Villains fight nice guys, Yeti. That’s kind of their job.”

“I was banished and feared by humans for years and I considered myself the nicest monster around! Never mind the fact that I was the only monster around…”

“That doesn’t make you a villain, Yeti,” Vanitas explained. “A villain needs a nefarious purpose. He needs to know he’s evil.”

“Waternoose didn’t know he was evil…”

“Well for the societies I want to get into, you have to know who you are and what you stand for,” Vanitas snapped. “You have to come to terms with it.”

“What are you?”

“I am darkness.”

“In a human clone?”

“Yeah.”

“Doesn’t a human need light to survive?”

“What?”

“Didn’t you tell me humans turned into heartless if they lost their light? And when you were pure darkness, it tore you apart? So, is this the right form for you?”

“What are you talking about, Yeti?” Vanitas whispered, falling back as Yeti turned in front of their townhouse and mounted the porch steps.

Yeti shrugged. “I just wonder, sometimes. If being molded into a human brought you nothing but pain and if the clone you inhabit still doesn’t work properly… is this really what you’re meant to be?”

“If I wasn’t this,” scoffed Vanitas, still standing frozen in the street, “then what else? An aimless puddle of darkness?”

After unlocking the door, Yeti turned Vanitas’ way and indicated towards it. “Better a happy puddle than a sad person.”

There was something so kind about Yeti’s gaze. It was possibly the biggest reason Vanitas deigned to stick around him at all. He wasn’t like the others. He didn’t question, or surmise, or use requests as excuses for demands. Most of all, he surprised Vanitas. Unlike anyone else Vanitas had met, his heart was flawless. It was a perfect balance of extremity: worldliness and naiveté, thoughtfulness and impulsivity, light and dark, sentimentality and strength. In that weird, messed up way, Yeti was perfect.

“Just promise me this, Yeti,” Vanitas groused as he climbed the porch steps two at a time. “If you happen upon anyone purporting to be a ‘keyblade master’, a ‘messenger of the king,’ or in connection to the transportation and restaurant tycoon Scrooge McDuck, run away. Run far, far away and don’t look back. Got it?”

“Aye, aye, captain!” Yeti resounded, waiting till Vanitas had entered the front hall before locking the door behind them. As Vanitas kicked his shoes onto the doormat and hung up his coat, Yeti called that he was going to have a bath.

“Be ready for that frotting program in twenty minutes, okay?” he inculcated while disappearing up the stairs. “Maybe you can draw me the door you want for your birthday in the meantime.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Vanitas assured with a grin, charging up to his room, getting out his pens and pencils, and plopping onto his bed.

What a day. Perhaps Vanitas would take a short nap. He could draw the door during the program, anyway.


	3. Grave Tidings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Aqua receives portents of ill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kudos and comments! I'll post warnings for the brutal chapters, but there won't be anything deranged for a little while.

🗝🗝🗝

Aqua woke with a start, grabbing her way finder from under her pillow and clutching it to her chest to pray. When her bedchamber’s musty darkness became too much to bear, she let the trinket go and tore open her curtains and window, leaning outside to catch Radiant Garden’s night air. It would never be as fresh as it had in her youth. Besides the miserable memories forever bound within the city’s walls, Aqua’s dark past haunted her. Four years and a second trip to the Land of Darkness were insufficient to banish the ghost of what she had once been: a monster who ate, breathed, and smelled nothing but darkness. Even with fresh night air upon her, the scent was stronger now than it had been in some time…

Gasping, she turned and followed the moonlight’s path to the plush chair that had once sat in front of a tiny desk in the room’s south corner, which she hated because it was out of direct sunlight. Even in shadow, Aqua could make out a figure, pushed as far against the wall as it could go. When Aqua shifted towards it, it opened its golden eyes and sneered at her.

“Vanitas?” Aqua whispered, even though she knew it couldn’t be. The figure was too lithe, its boots too pointed, and its hair too flat against its head. Here sat a woman much like herself.

“You,” she said in exhaustion, not even bothering to summon her key blade.

The figure smiled upon her, showing ghostly white teeth.

 _“Hello, better half,”_ it mocked.

“Cut the jokes and let me sleep,” Aqua eschewed, shoving her pillow over her face in the hopes it would suffocate her into unconsciousness. When she felt the whisper of breath upon her arm, she leapt up and huddled against the wall.

To her surprise, the figure remained unmoved in its chair, its expression gaunt. It must have been there to report grave news. It was always there when she needed it the least…

“What do you want?” she demanded, though her voice was weak. “Someone else die? Xehanort back from the dead?”

 _“I don’t report to Xehanort,”_ the figure sneered, as if it was sure Aqua knew it to be true. _“I report to you. Every time your heart cries out, I hear.”_

“What’s my heart crying out about, now?”

_“You said it yourself.”_

“Vanitas?” Aqua gasped, straightening in her bed.

Of course. It could be nothing else. A strange star had flickered in the sky above Yen Sid’s tower on the night of his funeral: not his own, which had gone out days before, but a new one, a blinding bright pin in a halo of bronze. It was the strangest birth she had ever witnessed and lead her to wonder whether it represented the naissance of a new world or a person of great power. She’d hoped it was the latter because the guardians of light were low in numbers, but now, she saw the truth.

Or did she?

“I don’t get it,” she fumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes but being sure to note where the shadow’s presence could be felt most.

 _“Do not worry, Aqua,”_ her shadow intoned. _“He is much too weak to stand a chance against you, now. He’s a far cry from when you lost to him in the Land of Departure.”_

“Must you always remind me of my greatest humiliations?” Aqua hissed.

Her shadow’s jitter suggested a shrug. When it leaned further into the moonlight, its full, ghastly form grew visible, strangely tangible though Aqua knew it was an illusion.

 _“You think I’m not real,”_ the ghostly creature echoed. _“Was Vanitas not real to Sora even when he was nothing but a ball of darkness wandering through the dreamscape? Was he not real as a shroud of black in the Land of Prophecies?”_

“What are you talking about?” Aqua urged, listening more closely than she ever had to the monster. Was this its ruse? Reel her in with information it knew she wanted, only to trap her the same way it had trapped her after her defeat in the Shadow Realm at the hands of Ansem, Seeker of Darkness?

 _“I’m not going to hurt you, Aqua,”_ the shadow assured. _“I’ll leave that for human beings. I’ll be here for whenever you sink, to save you from nothingness when tears and regrets leave you to rot.”_

“You haven’t told me what you want,” Aqua imputed, refusing the shadow’s bait. That had always been her problem: impulsive, self-righteous defensiveness. After all these years, she had none of that left.

If she wasn’t mistaken, the shadow was impressed. For a moment it silenced. Then, it continued, _“your guest tomorrow will tell it for me.”_

“Who?” Aqua snapped. “The castle has no guests planned.”

 _“They don’t need to,”_ the shadow said. _“He’s coming to visit you personally.”_

Aqua’s hairs prickled on the back of her neck. It could mean nothing but Vanitas, yet why would it be him? Though Aqua had felt his presence in the stars the night of Yen Sid’s funeral, and though her heart felt it to be true, in her head it made no sense. No one had heard head nor tail of him for four years. Why would he turn up now, so weak, with no one to back him up? For all his posturing, he had never known how to live on his own.

“If Vanitas is so weak,” Aqua demanded, drawing the shadow’s gleeful eyes wider, “then why should he worry me? And why should he visit me personally? To tell me whatever you’re keeping secret?”

 _“I have no secrets,”_ responded the shadow. _“Only guesses. Like Vanitas to Sora, I am your inverse.”_

“Sora?” Aqua repeated, heart pumping hard. Now they were getting somewhere. Had her heart finally discovered where Sora could be? “Where is he?” she beseeched, angered when the shadow chuckled.

 _“Vanitas is here,”_ the shadow insisted. _“But soon, should fate waver, he will be drawn to a universe mirroring our own, filled with fantasy.”_

“The Time of Fairy Tales,” Aqua breathed. It was what King Mickey had been studying for years. The world of the Foretellers. The world where Sora no doubt was.

 _“I know only what your heart believes to be true,”_ the shadow warned. _“As well as what it fears.”_

“What could my heart fear at a time like this?” snapped Aqua in eagerness. “You just told me where Sora was. Isn’t that something to be happy about?” 

_“Be careful, Aqua,”_ continued the shadow. _“Remember what happened the last time you jumped to conclusions?”_

“Then tell me,” Aqua minced. “Tell me or get lost.”

The shadow paused. Then it returned to the room’s south corner, flat against the wall until its form almost evaporated.

_“Darkness is different in every reality. You receive whispers of it in the Shadow Realm, where everything fades into one dark sea. Though your heart can’t remember, its words remain. That’s why I’ve been with you ever since.”_

“What did it say to me?” Aqua whispered.

_“Evil chooses which galaxies to inhabit. Here, in your Empire of Light, it lies destitute, but in other universes, it is a rich master. There are evils out there that you could never in your wildest dreams fathom, but your heart needs little help imagining. After all, the murmurs from the Realm of Darkness are still there. Their stench clings to your skin no matter how hard you scrub it off.”_

“Quit the games and give me the truth!” Aqua roared, throwing her pillow towards the chair and knocking over the lamp on the desk in the process.

The shadow sunk and rematerialized in the corner on the room’s other side, between the bookshelf and the door. It stood ramrod straight and half formed, more waxen than human. It looked afraid. _“I’m here for when you slip,"_ it droned as if by rote, the focus of its golden eyes fading in and out. _"For when you need to understand. For when you need to hear the hard truths. If the evil I speak of reaches us, we will survive because you have me. But your friends… it will destroy them.”_

“Then tell me what I have to do to stop it from coming!” Aqua pleaded, clutching her sheets in her hands so hard her knuckles turned white.

 _“Follow him,”_ replied the shadow, though now, it didn't really seem to register Aqua's presence at all. _“Listen to your heart. If you fail, we can be together again. Safe, in the Realm of Darkness.”_ Before Aqua could throw more bedclothes at it, the shadow had gone.

For what felt like eternity Aqua leaned over the bed shaking and sputtering, clutching her way finder to her heart in an effort to calm. 

What fate could be worse than floating helpless in the Black Sea, not with the dead but with the damned, suspended amongst echoes of misery and hatred? In Aqua’s worst nightmares she returned, cleaving for the surface but sinking deeper and deeper, until the echoes compounded and turned into real voices she never could have dreamed existed. Before, she had believed them to be echoes of her deepest fears, but now, as she sat in bed with the moonlight of Radiant Garden on her back, four years after coming home from the most grueling war of her life and two years from a second visit with her friends at her side, she considered differently.

What if they weren’t the screams of fantasy? What if they were from another world, a world that mirrored her own, where real people were suffering and crying out for help? The things they pleaded rescue from were horrible: murder, erasure, infliction of pain… As well as something else. Something so strange, Aqua was repulsed and confused at once by its description. It was a combination of emotional and physical torture cut apart from the rest, easy for Aqua to forget in her lighter moments but difficult not to dwell upon when despondence sucked her in.

Craning her neck, Aqua listened again, closing her eyes and treading silently on her feet wherever her heart led her. Once her vision disappeared and blackness surrounded, she called upon her other senses for comfort, reveling in the way Radiant Garden’s night breeze wafted upon her from the open window. She didn’t close it. Instead, she opened her bedroom door as well, walking like a risen corpse down the long castle hall, allowing herself to be led by the beat of her chest and the twitch of her nose.

Her shadow had been right. There was a stench. If she concentrated, she felt its path, leading over concrete slab, damp green carpet, steps of worm-eaten mahogany, and even cinder. Every once in a while, light invaded her eyelids and painted her world soft red or violet. Flame or electricity buzzed around her in varying turns. She could feel the elevation capturing her breath as she trudged higher and higher: up steps, onto balconies, along ramparts, up lifts, and down and down tunnels somehow leading skyward. It wasn’t until she felt the strongest memory of darkness that she dared open her eyes. When she did, she gasped in surprise.

She was in a chapel. It had an onion domed roof with a mammoth shattered rose window at its center. Surrounding were remnants of plaster sculptures and frescoes, where saints and fairies had long peeled away to reveal holes that twinkled with starlight. A great battle must have been fought within. Chars scourged every surface, including the patchwork roof where owls perched and sang. Bird poop dripped half dry from a moth-eaten net that hung above the new church seating still covered in plastic wrap with construction tools lying about. Was this tower the last of Radiant Garden in need of repair? More than anything, it necessitated an artist’s touch, an organ, and lots of flowers.

“Wow,” Aqua breathed, holding out her hand to summon her key blade. Maybe casting a little light would brighten this room up…

“Beautiful, huh?”

“AAAHHHHH!” Aqua shrieked, sending every bird from their perches and an echo through the bells far above. Summoning her key blade in a bolt of light, she dove into battle stance, trying to ignore the fact that she was standing in nothing but a sheer nightgown under a shattered rose window that left little to the imagination. Oh, well. All entered the universe naked. If she had to fight almost naked, so be it.

“Hey, no worries,” the voice that had spoken continued. When its owner stepped into the light, Aqua faced a burlier, less dopey, heavily belted version of Terra. 

“Squall,” Aqua sighed, de-materializing her blade and stepping out of the window’s light. “I’m sorry for wandering up here alone.”

“It’s Leon,” Leon corrected in veiled exasperation before softening. “And again, no worries. I come here myself sometimes when the Burrough’s too…”

“Crowded?” Aqua mused. She had been living in Radiant Garden for a month now, and still could not get over how much noise Leon’s adopted family could make in one tiny cottage. 

“Yeah,” Leon said. Then he sat in one of the plastic wrapped pews, folded his hands, and looked up. “Hearts, that net looks like shit.”

“It is full of it.” A chuckle passed between them as Aqua sat at his side. Then silence.

“So, remind me again why you’re up here?” Leon said finally. “You’re not exactly dressed for the occasion, if you don’t mind my saying.”

“I was… sleepwalking, kind of,” Aqua evaded, before breaking and admitting, “well, actually… I had a nightmare. I was letting my heart guide me to an answer.”

“About what?”

“A shadow’s been haunting me.”

“Recently?”

“No. Ever since I…”

How much could Aqua explain to this man in five minutes? How much did he already know? The task’s enormity rendered her speechless.

“Since you came out of the Land of Darkness?” tried Leon.

“You know about that?” Aqua breathed.

Leon shrugged. “No details, but I get the gist. Cloud went through something similar with a guy named Sephiroth.”

“Sephiroth…” Aqua worded, intrigued at the name’s familiarity.

“Yeah, Sephiroth’s his nemesis,” Leon explained. “That’s where all the darkness in Cloud comes from. Even after Cloud destroyed him, he continued to haunt him. I hear Hades couldn’t even keep the asshole in the Underworld. He was too powerful.”

Of course! On the way to the Keyblade Graveyard for the Second Keyblade War, Sora had explained to Aqua how he had defeated the most nefarious villain in the galaxy not once, but twice! In a platinum match at Olympus Coliseum and then on a cliffside in the Great Maw. Why the most nefarious villain in the galaxy was trotting around the ring at the Coliseum and then random cliffsides of all places instead of actually doing evil escaped Aqua at the time of listening, but now she understood perfectly. The guy was already dead when Sora got his hands on him. Poor kid was hacking at a ghost.

“Then, after escaping the Underworld, he snuck into Radiant Garden and roamed the outskirts until Cloud finished him off for good,” Leon elucidated. “Poor bastard still dreams about him every once in a while.”

“I understand perfectly,” Aqua commiserated. Soon her mind returned to what her own shadow had said about Vanitas, and about her supposed visitor until a light switched on in her head.

“Does Cloud want to talk to me?” she asked, quirking a brow at Leon’s ensuing stutter of surprise.

“I mean, well… no?” he blustered. “I don’t think Cloud even knows who you are.”

“Oh,” Aqua murmured in disappointment, turning away again. Something compelled her to sit in silence for a while, letting her heart meditate. As more time passed, and as the sky turned from phthalo to violet and owls changed from barn to tawny amongst chiffchaff and goldfinch, she brightened. When she opened her eyes, not remembering having closed them in the first place, she found Leon’s head perched on her shoulder with mouth hung open and spittle trickling down his jaw. Had they both fallen asleep, or just him?

He awoke as she slipped out of his grasp, muttering and blinking with bleary eyes as she tiptoed off. She was just about to escape when he realized she was there and asked if she wanted to breakfast with him in the town square.

“What?” she called behind her, miffed that she wouldn’t be able to go immediately to the scientists’ lab at dawn like she had promised. Her apprentice was probably up and dressed already. 

“I asked if you’d like to breakfast in the square,” Leon called again, scowling as Aqua continued to walk.

 _“Listen,”_ her ghost taunted in her ear. This time, it certainly was a phantom. Still, Aqua entertained it, turned, and set her hands on her hips.

Leon blushed to see her waiting. Averting his gaze, he pointed forward and muttered that there was a shortcut down.

“No need for that,” Aqua responded. “I’ve got glide.”

“You’ve also got hardly any clothes on,” Leon retorted. “I’d hate to see you arrested for public indecency.”

“I’ll sheath myself in light,” Aqua shot back. “Why don’t I meet you at the castle gates in half an hour?”

“Half an hour?” Leon snapped. “Where am I going to get ready that fast? You know I don’t live in this castle, right?”

“Not my fault you snuck into the chapel at midnight,” Aqua intoned. “If it’s just breakfast, why the fuss?”

“I-” Leon started to protest, and this time, Aqua kept moving.

🗝🗝🗝

“Where are we going so early, Master Aqua?” Aqua’s pink cheeked apprentice inquired. The girl was hopelessly polite and diligent, but even her best efforts failed to hide her excitement as she caught sight of the town square in the distance.

“Patience, Kairi,” Aqua murmured, knowing that phrase drove Kairi crazy. Then, on sudden inspiration she asked, “does Naminé paint?”

“I beg your pardon?” Kairi blubbered, no doubt wondering whether Aqua had planned some kind of crazy art project for them to do.

Every once in a while, to keep Kairi on her toes, Aqua played the part of nutty professor and had her complete an utterly pointless task unrelated to key blade training whatsoever. The tasks were half madness and half method. Aqua wanted Kairi to be as adaptable and loose as Sora and Ven. Playfulness, or lack thereof, had always been Aqua’s Achilles’ Heel. If she could never gain a real sense of humor, at least she could attempt to impart one on her students. Kairi was born with one, but the events of the last six years had steadily worn hers down to nothing more than halfhearted giggles and occasional sarcasm. That needed changing.

“I was in Hollow Bastion’s Chapel this morning and noticed it’s in serious need of a paint job.”

“If you’re talking about the fresco and plaster sculptures, I doubt Naminé is the next Michelangelo. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty certain she’s an impressionist and digital painter.”

“Hello, ladies!” Leon’s voice boomed ahead.

When Aqua glanced up, she was met with a sweat coated Leon in running gear with hair tied back in a bun and an athletic belt bag around his waist. Beside him, equally sweaty but less obvious in his exertion, jogged a severe, electric blond, older version of Ven in black thermals.

“I thought we were skipping the run today, Master!” Kairi cried, resisting the urge to whine.

“Cloud wanted to show you guys something,” Leon insisted. “We don’t have to run. We can always rent bikes or walk.”

“What terrain is it?” Aqua asked. “It’s forecasted to snow later on.”

Loathing the idea of running, Kairi shivered with gusto, trying to avoid a tantrum by pretending to be deathly chilled.

“It might snow on the way,” the severe blond who must have been Cloud replied. “It’ll make the diner warmer. If you don’t have proper clothing, we could use my motorcycle.”

That settled it. “We’ll run,” Aqua decided, making Kairi go back inside the castle to change. When the girl disappeared, Aqua turned to Leon and Cloud and told them they’d be five minutes.

As promised, in four minutes and fifty-nine seconds (nineteen of which were spent forcing Kairi to come out of her room in a timely manner) the quartet were jogging down what used to be a restoration site towards the fountain court, mid construction and now slicked over with ice. When they reached it, everyone but Leon breathed a sigh of awe.

It was filled with children on ice skates, some gliding back and forth along the shallowest of the ground plates, while the more daring attempted to climb to the upper levels, while still more daring were using their skates to whack what used to be the fountain spouts but were now gnarled with rust and grime. Despite the ugliness of the exposed pipes and mud piles covered in lumpy brown sludge, the scene was quaint.

“I can’t believe this was my hometown,” Kairi whispered, surprising Cloud and Leon all the more.

When Cloud got a better look at her, his face smoothed and a smile crept to his lips. Then, harrumphing, he trudged on, picking up a slow jog to inspire the others forward. Aqua wondered if, in some corner of Cloud’s memory, he remembered Kairi, and if he had not visited Radiant Garden for as long a time as she had.

After reacquainting herself with what up until recently had been called the Bailey, according to Leon, Aqua found herself at the Castle Gates charging down what once had been the Outer Gardens. As usual, Leon explained how construction was going, pointing to the eyesore of a warehouse tacked outside the castle wall and explaining how it was filled with mosaic tile, aqueduct accessories, and new plants. After that they were sprinting down a snowcapped ravine trail with Kairi huffing and panting behind and Leon huffing and panting ahead, the former with no interest in the run whatsoever, and the latter with every interest in getting first place in a race that wasn’t happening. Aqua and Cloud ran side by side in the middle, Cloud smirking in amusement at Leon’s thundering form while Aqua kept tabs on Kairi behind.

“Leon tells me you’re a keyblade master?” Cloud inquired in a surprisingly even voice for having been running for more than twenty minutes.

“Yeah,” Aqua responded, attempting to keep her voice as even. “You?”

“Gunblade,” Cloud said with a wider smirk when Leon almost slipped on a pocket of ice. “Way cooler.”

“You haven’t seen enough key blades, then,” Aqua retorted, avoiding the pocket of ice and blinking in stupor as a crystalline cave rose ahead of them. For some reason, it reminded her of the coldest parts of the Dark Realm, where coal black outgrowths hid crystalline innards that cut the fingers when touched.

When the quartet passed under this fissure, Aqua was met with a quartz cavern that dazzled with the intensity of a swath of stars. “Kingdom Hearts,” she breathed, wondering how in Hearts she had missed this beauty when she came here fourteen years ago.

“This didn’t exist, for your information,” Cloud guessed, smiling when Aqua whipped towards him in surprise. “I used to come out here all the time as a kid. Back then it was just hill and water, until the water evaporated and the hills collapsed into canyons.”

“Which brings us to the Great Maw,” Leon sang up ahead, bursting with an excitement that confused Aqua anew. Why was he rushing?

Judging by the exasperated scowl overtaking Cloud’s smirk, Aqua guessed he shared the sentiment. When they reached the Crystal Fissure’s end and looked out on what used to be the Maw, Aqua and Cloud’s breaths were stolen again.

There was water for miles, dotted with peaks of blue stone and purple sand. It looked blistering cold and some bits carried rafts of ice and snow, but what once had been dry valley had now disappeared. Except, that is, for a natural stone walkway leading all the way to what looked like an island town built out of shrapnel stranded in the sea’s center. A heartless symbol blared proudly from its peaks, circled by graffiti in equally bright red.

“Is this…” Aqua started in confusion, wondering if there would be a key blade battle here by the end of the day.

“Villain’s Vale,” Leon announced with pride. “Now a tourist destination for anyone wishing to escape the castle walls! Has a bunch of cool cafes, boutiques, and the best bar in the world!”

To this, Cloud perked up, jogging faster to meet Leon’s side. As they whispered, Kairi found her way to Aqua’s side, too.

“Everything is so different,” Kairi huffed, a little less aggravated than before. “Can’t believe we missed this place all the time we’ve been here.”

“I spotted this place from the ramparts on our last few runs, but I really didn’t think it was anything of note,” Aqua intimated. “Guess there are new surprises waiting around every corner.”

“The old becomes the new pretty fast,” Kairi agreed.

Villain’s Vale’s peaks loomed higher and higher the closer they got, until they looked like magnified burnt matches with sizzling red embers in the center. A few people waved from the top, and the occasional tourist milled from one shop to the next on the ground, but the Vale was largely empty, with a lot of signs saying ‘closed for winter.’ The one shop that was modestly packed was an eatery, where Aerith, Cid, Yuffie, and a girl with long black hair and red eyes sat waiting at a table inside.

“ _The Sword in the Stone,_ ” Aqua read aloud, wondering at the weird name of the café but wondering more about the brilliant smell of pastry wafting from inside. After entering, she realized why the place was so popular in this weather.

It was a magical eatery with plates that flew themselves to the sink when they were empty, multicolored animals who sat at the tables, played with the patrons, and took orders, and a wizard in the kitchen with his beard wrapped around his neck like a shawl, cooking.

“Is that Merlin?” Aqua gasped, waving when Yuffie and the gang stood up to greet them. Kairi took a seat right by Yuffie’s side, chatting with her like an old friend as Cloud hurried towards the woman with red eyes and black hair to give her a long hug. A pang of dejection sliced through Aqua as she watched them embrace, noting how the woman’s fingerless gloved hands slid up and down Cloud’s back, lowering until they gave a soft caress to his waist.

Huh. Perhaps that was what the fairy tales called true love. Its gestures were so gentle and kind. For the fastest moment, Aqua imagined herself holding someone like that. When the tall someone of her imagination pulled away, he had short brown hair, warm tan skin, ocean blue eyes, and a dimpled, babyish grin, just like the kind of grin-

“Aqua!” Leon called, snapping her out of her thoughts so she could meet Merlin, who had come out of the kitchen with apron in hand to say hello.

“My dear Aqua!” the old wizard greeted, face the exact same save for cherry pink cheeks from bending over a stove. His hugs were as strong and messy as always, a flurry of pats, stumbles, and pulling Aqua this way and that to have a look at her before wrestling her into repeated embraces. When she finally escaped, she sat with him at a table on her own, waiting until Kairi pulled up a chair. Leon and Cloud watched from afar but did not interrupt, and Yuffie and Aerith were too deep in conversation with the black-haired girl to notice.

“How have you been, and why haven’t you visited me yet?” Merlin demanded, and it was then that Aqua realized she had really messed up. How could she let a month go by without dropping in?

“I’m really sorry, Merl,” she apologized. “I kind of got caught up in being a master.”

“Excuses, excuses,” Merlin snapped playfully, pinching her cheek before turning to Kairi with a curious glare. “And you must be Kairi! I’ve heard oodles about you!”

“Really?”

“Yes! You’re Sora’s true love, are you not? He rarely said a sentence without your name in it.”

“Oh,” Kairi faltered, smile shattering. 

Aqua shot Merlin a warning glance before patting her hand. “What do you want to eat, Kairi? You must be starving.”

“Oh, I-I don’t know. I’m not really hungry…”

“She likes strawberries and Nutella,” Aqua told Merlin, who snapped and flew to his feet.

“Strawberry crepes, coming right up! I’ll be back in a wink!”

Naturally, Aqua and Kairi ended up being roped into helping cook the breakfast even though Merlin just finished everything off with magic. Once everyone was seated and eating, the trio returned to their table and resumed conversation, this time with a little more care for Kairi’s sake.

“So how long have you been studying without visiting me?” Merlin intoned, making Kairi shrink.

“Two years,” the girl swallowed. “I-I’m trying to catch up to Sora and Riku.”

“She’s doing really well,” Aqua said, making Kairi blush in satisfaction and dig into her crepes faster.

“No doubt! Strong hearts make great students. Although, with Aqua’s permission, should you ever need a master class in summons or the like, come by! I’m sure I can rustle up the Fairy Godmother for assistance.”

“I never got to thank her for her help reaching out to Sora,” Kairi breathed. “I can’t believe that was three years ago.”

“I can’t believe I was in the Realm of Darkness two years ago,” Aqua snorted.

“How was your second visit?” Merlin whispered.

“Grim,” Aqua responded. “There were hardships. New discoveries. It was good to have Ven and Terra by my side.”

“I should think so,” Merlin acquiesced, face growing pale with the shadow of grief. “Did you come back solely for Yen Sid?”

“Yeah,” Aqua swallowed. “But not in the way you think. I received a message asking if I could come train Kairi. I had intended to give the Realm of Darkness another year, but it was already getting to me again. It was great, actually, that I left when I did. It gave Kairi and Yen Sid time to bond, and me, too…”

The table palled again; everyone’s head bent in remembrance. Merlin wiped a tear from between his bushy brows and sniffed into a hanky before blowing his nose and straightening. “Well, the old brute couldn’t live forever. Good reminder for us all to live a life of passion and joy. Seize the day!”

“That must have been when you opened the restaurant,” Kairi chirped, impressing Merlin with her insightfulness.

“Yes! It’ll be the one-year anniversary, soon. Yen Sid’s birthday, oddly enough. Wasn’t it funny? The old brute was a spring baby!”

“Listen, Merlin,” Aqua interjected with sudden urgency. “About Yen Sid…”

Merlin’s attention was on her immediately. “What is it, child?” he asked, his eyes seeming to know what she would say before she thought to speak.

“I…” she started, wondering how best to continue before settling on, “I had a nightmare about Vanitas last night. The masked boy.”

“Yes?”

“I got the impression that he’s returned.”

“Then you’re probably spot on.”

“But that wasn’t the weirdest part. It was a phantom that came to me… a phantom of my dark self from the shadow realm. It said someone would be visiting me personally, that it wasn’t Vanitas but that it was about Vanitas’ connection to Sora.”

“Did the phantom say where Sora was?”

“No, but it said Vanitas would go to a place like Sora did, except that it would be a mistake. That it would cause a lot of pain. That it would cause me to… sink again.”

“That’s horrible!” Merlin gasped, gaining a nod from Kairi, who whispered, “Aqua, why didn’t you tell me the nightmares had returned?”

“They’ve always been there, Kairi,” Aqua admitted. “I’ve just gotten better at dealing with them. And the phantom said another thing…”

“What?”

“That the cries for help and horrible stories I heard in the Realm of Darkness were real, but from a world of fantasy. I got the feeling they were talking about the Time of Fairy Tales.”

“Oh, my…” Merlin whispered, paling.

“I wouldn’t worry too hard,” Kairi tried to encourage. “The darkness lies all the time to make you slip. It’s probably a trap.”

“You and I both know that that’s false, Kairi. The darkness knows fake from real. It knows our fears and it knows what we don’t want to face.”

Kairi lowered in silent agreement, remembering past battles with Xehanort that questioned her every perception of reality. Every guardian of light had difficult memories to contend with, made all the more salient with Yen Sid’s passing.

“I felt anger and despair when it spoke to me,” Aqua continued, touching her hand to her heart and calming at its gentle beat. “But I took its advice. I listened to my heart… and I found peace. I think in its own way, it’s looking out for me. The scary part is why. It spoke of a greater evil in other realms, evils that I could fathom because of my nightmares. But I know what wakes me up at night. I know what the screams say and some of them even I don’t understand. They must be too terrible. They’re things that a universe of darkness or in-between could handle, but in a reality of light… they’re unfathomable.”

“Listen, Aqua,” Merlin interjected with urgency. “In my youth, I stumbled upon places like that- not dark worlds, but worlds on the edge of our reality. If done wrong, those trips are dangerous. Sora and Riku, for once, are doing things right by being patient and cognizant of universal boundaries, but someone like Vanitas, filled with hubris and desperation… he might break a few rules he can’t fix. That is, if your vision was correct.”

“You think it was a vision?” Aqua gasped, a chill going down her spine. Prophecy was an artform granted to few magic wielders. She’d never heard of it experienced like this.

“Your time in the Realm of Darkness, though a source of great pain, gave you great strength and insight. If you are not the prophet, perhaps your phantom is.”

“Or my heart,” Aqua whispered. “I think the phantom speaks for the parts of it I struggle to accept. Maybe they’re the key.”

“Either way, this is grave news. We must find the masked boy. And we must find the person destined to visit you today-”

“Cloud? Cloud, are you okay?” a shrill female voice cried from their side. When Merlin, Kairi, and Aqua stared its way, they found Cloud crumpled and unresponsive in the black-haired woman’s arms. She was shaking him with little avail, scaring the other patrons in the restaurant. When she put the back of her hand to his nose, her eyes filled with tears.

“He’s not breathing!” she wailed, causing Aqua to leap from her seat and land at Cloud’s side. In an instant, the café's colorful animals disappeared, no more than illusions, followed by the warm orange light baubles bathing the building in welcoming warmth. Now, every breath was visible, and the shadows stretched dull and blue from the snow outside. 

“Set him gently on his back. We’re going to do CPR. If he’s irresponsive after one minute, I’ll administer magical shocks.”

“Okay,” Tifa nodded, starting CPR and continuing until the one minute had passed.

Aqua cast a stun spell, watching as Cloud jolted upwards and settled down. Tifa scrambled down to administer CPR again, waiting another two cycles for Aqua to administer stun again. On the third round, Aqua considered casting cure, as Cloud’s time was running out. Merlin stood to the side, incanting with shut eyes and swaying shoulders. Just when his volume and hands raised above his head and Aqua held up her key blade in preparation, Cloud’s eyes flew open and he sat up with a gasp of alarm.

“Cloud!” the black-haired woman cried, jolting when Cloud swept her in his arms and cried her name, “Tifa!”

“Cloud, what is it?” She choked as Aerith and Yuffie gathered close. “What happened?”

Leon and Cid loomed over their backs, aghast and unable to process.

“I-I don’t know,” Cloud hissed in terror, looking everywhere and nowhere. “One minute I was sitting here, and the next, I was in a different place, with Sephiroth, and Zack, and-”

“But Zack is gone, Cloud,” Aerith begged. “He’s gone, right? That’s what you told us.”

“No, I-I know. It doesn’t make sense, so I don’t think it was… and Vincent…”

“Who’s Vincent?”

“Kefka… that shit for brains… and Sora!”

“Sora?” the whole party snapped, Kairi scrambling forward in particular.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen this way,” Cloud moaned with shaken head. “It… it’s not us, just pieces of us, from individual times, different-”

“Realities?” Aqua finished, and she wasn’t sure whether it was her or her phantom speaking through her.

“And Bartz…” Cloud nearly sobbed with his head in his hands. “Oh, Hearts, poor Bartz… the hell did they do to him… it’s wrong, it should have never… it was never meant to get that bad… Chaos didn’t even…”

“Cloud, talk sense!” Tifa commanded, shaking him again as he bit back tears. “Please! What happened! Is Sephiroth back? Did he hurt you?”

Cloud remained hidden in his hands for what felt like eons, but when he rose his head, the tears were gone, and the terrified glint to his eyes had disappeared, replaced by oblivion. Blinking and rubbing his cheeks, he leaned back, noticed he was on the floor with splayed chairs and people huddled around him, and balked, “what the fuck just happened?”

Yuffie couldn’t help but snort at his absurd change in disposition, but Aerith and Tifa would not dismiss it so lightly.

“Cloud… you were unconscious. You weren’t breathing for a full three minutes. You… you should have died.”

“The fuck?” Cloud scoffed, finding in shock that he could not get up without shaking from dizziness. “Whoa,” he croaked, letting Leon and Cid help him into a chair while Aerith and Tifa rubbed his back. Aqua watched like a hawk, waiting for a sign of realization to dawn over Cloud’s face. It didn’t come.

“So, I was out cold for three minutes?” he chuckled in embarrassment as Merlin took the initiative to alter the memories of all the other restaurant patrons as well. As the diner resumed normalcy, his friends surrounded Cloud and held his hands.

“It was scary, Cloud,” Aerith whispered. “You were babbling about different dimensions… about Zack and Sephiroth being alive, and you cried about someone named Bartz… saying that Sephiroth did something to him.”

“You mentioned Sora, too,” Kairi offered in desperate hope.

Cloud’s expression was anything but reassuring. In fact, it was sheepish. “Hearts, I’m truly sorry, guys. I don’t… I really don’t know what happened. The last time I lost it like that…”

“We know, Cloud,” Tifa said gravely. “Do you think it means…”

“No,” Cloud insisted. “Definitely not. I’d know. My heart would know. This was… weirdly mental. Maybe it was the last remnants vomiting up or something.”

“Or maybe it was something more,” Aqua worded to herself, eyes still on Cloud’s bent, shaking form.

To her surprise, when he met her eye, his expression palled, and the familiar terror set in. Then, it was gone, replaced again by oblivion, and if Aqua guessed correctly, suspicion. “I feel…” he started, cheeks pinking in supreme humiliation. “I feel like I was about to tell you something. You must think I’m absolutely nuts, huh… Aqua? That was your name, right?”

“I don’t think you’re nuts at all,” Aqua murmured, aware again of the stench of darkness that followed her every whim. If she engaged her peripheral vision, she could see, just barely, a shadow sitting in the darkest corner of the wintry café, apart from the rest, watching with cool, amber eyes. 

“I think something’s just begun,” she hissed, utterly resolved.

She had to find Vanitas. He was back, and he was about to majorly fuck up. 

If only Aqua knew exactly what that entailed. Or just where he was.

🗝🗝🗝

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Yen Sid is deceased. Who will Aqua turn to now for guidance? It's that awkward moment for her when the student becomes the master, and with what Van has cooking, her lonesome responsibility couldn't come at a worse time!


End file.
